Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The beginning of freedom.

Here I am again. To continue my story....

So here's 2007 and, well, came and went. Now 2008 was here and I was supposed to keep working & be good at my job and have relationships and be a respected leader in my church and a good daughter and oh yeah, keep a smile on my face. But it was getting tiring and it was wearing on me. I mean, I didn't even know how I was going to get out of bed in the morning. But every morning, I had a text waiting for me from my amazing cousin. A text that I didn't expect but was always there. They were so simple, too. Just a 'Good morning. I love you. Have a great day.' kind of text but those texts got me out of bed in the morning. Those texts told me that I was important to someone. They told me that there was something worth getting out of bed for. So I did. I got out of bed. I showered. I got ready and I left the house. Every day. Now, not every day was horrible and I had very loving people in my life that helped more than I even knew at the time. Like when friends asked me over for some chinese. Or when one of my cousin's helped to decorate my room, to make it mine. Or when freinds wanted to drop off their kids to me, to help get my mind off things.

See, I'm a deep thinker...I'm an over-thinker and I hate that about me because all too often I get lost in my thoughts which are directly connected to my emotions which means major depression times for this girl. It started off small but then grew over the years and major anxiety took over about a year ago. But I'm jumping ahead a bit. I'll get back to that, I promise.

So, 2008 came and went and 2009 was beginning to look a lot like '08. I knew I had to do something. I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't take the nagging memories or the hurt, or the pain, or the anger that was building up that I kept ignoring and pushing it further down which only made my emotional state worse. So, I packed my life and moved to Michigan to attend Douglas J. Aveda Beauty Institute. One of the best decisions of my life. And I know God's hand was in every moment of that year. From the family that took me in as one of their own to my classmates that put a smile on my face every time I think about them. God knew what I needed that year and He gave it to me. But when I returned home after graduating, the nagging memories, hurt, pain and anger were still there. So, I knew I had to do something. I knew I had to be healed. So, I began that journey. And ohhh, what a journey it has been...stay tuned.