One of my clients today commended me on how brave I was to move far away from my family to go after my dream. That choice was not an easy one. I miss them everyday. I didn't make this decision to be commended. I made this decision because I couldn't imagine my life without making this decision. The sadness it brought me to imagine my life differently than it is now, I just couldn't take. I've lived in terrible sadness before, I couldn't take the thought of my future being filled with it.
Getting married, to me, isn't something that I have to do. My mind doesn't fill with sadness at the thought of never getting married. Would I like to know that kind of love before I die? Of course I do! But would I be devastated if it never happened? No. I love who I am and where I am in life! I don't need anyone else to complete it. I'm not lonely. Sometimes I feel lonely, just like everyone else. But a man will not make me feel less lonely in those times, either. I am beyond blessed to be working not only in my career field but in an amazing salon. And in an area of great opportunity in my career field. But I have the life I have because of the choices I have made.
I have made a lot of decisions out of doubt and fear in the past. I didn't want the rest of my life to look like that.
I also know this: If you aren't happy today, with yourself then you'll never be happy with a guy, with an incredible job or whether you live a block away from the beach or in a hut. You just won't be. I hope when you look in the mirror, you're glad at what's looking back at you. And if you're not, it is NEVER too late to change.
This person, who I am today, is not who I was. I don't want you to think that I'm candy coating anything here. Well, if you've read my past blog posts, you know. I did a lot of things out of doubt and fear in the past. I wanted to be liked. I wanted safety. I wanted to do it all myself. Those roads got me nowhere. That's why I'm here telling you what I am now. Not because I think I'm a know-it-all. It's because living in anything but freedom isn't living.
When you're passionate about something and you can't help but think about it all the time. When you're filled with so much joy at just the thought of it, you could burst. That's how you know. And anything else that is mediocre, don't settle for it. It's not worth an ounce of your energy. Everyone's road is different. Yours may look nothing like mine but that's what's so great about life. I don't know how you're going to accomplish your goal but I do know that if you start, the doors that will suppose to open will and the ones that aren't, won't. You may not understand it all. You may think you're crazy at times. Hell, this world needs more of that kind of crazy! And when people question you and ask you, "Why Nashville?" "Why would you move that far away from your family?" "What are you going to do there alone?" "Are you really going to do it long term?" "What if you don't get anywhere there?" "Why don't you want to do something that's more stable?" "Are you sure?" Let me tell you something folks: This life isn't the dress rehearsal. And I'm sorry you aren't completely happy with your life. I truly am.
Maybe it's time we get a little foolish and maybe it's time to take some risks. Maybe it's time to step off that ledge and see where you land. Maybe it's time to go where your heart and soul are leading you. You might have a lot to lose! But would you be okay with your life if you never went after it?
I hope when you look around you, you're satisfied. And if you're not, I pray you have the courage to change it.